The Old You/The New Me. and some big talk.

- Every so often I forget who I am and everything I learned, and need a good kick to remember it. My last post was miserable. My last few days were miserable.
- I have so much that I love. I mean, that I LOVE about myself. Why would I let anyone else get involved in that? I'll take love, but keep the vulnerability, thanks.
- Last time I was here I fell apart and it felt fantastic - first love, like a riot in the heart, and what can anyone do to pull you out? I've even given up forgetting, and accepted that a bit of me will always love him. But that bit should also remind me of what I gave up for that all-consuming love. 
- I wont fall apart like last time. Try as you like. Your best shot. 

- I'm not better than you, I'm not beneath you, I'm your equal. I wont hate you, because you never confirmed or denied any of these things. I wont forget that I'm your equal, that's what I promise tonight, because I'm always forgetting.
- I want to know. I have every right to feel this way. Friends cant help. Funny that what I always thought I was missing, what I thought would make my life complete, could be what made everything so awful.
- Friends talk too much, their advice is flimsy, their convictions questionable. And lovers leave. I love them both, but I won't live or die according to either. I'm too young to put that much trust in anyone. 

- I have to live with myself for the next howevermany years. I should rely on my own advice and my own confidence. 
- Who knows what happiness is? To me it's a homely soul.